Choose twelve of your original characters in any particular order (NO PEEKING AT THE QUESTIONS AT THIS STAGE!). Then, answer the questions that follow and don't forget to tag a couple of people when you're finished. |D

1. Henry Watts
2. Helena Gilmore
3. Archie Bleaker
4. Creepy Paperboy
5. GasTON duPont
6. Bertie Wilder
7. Morris Taggart
8. Mr. Lucius Edwin
9. Brunhilda VonHermann
10. Mercy Taylor
11. Ms. Melora Guppy
12. **BRAND NEW CHARACTER FROM NEW PLAY** Nick Maconahey


01)Who would make ao better college professor, 6 [Bertie] or 11 [Ms. Guppy]? What subjects would they teach?

BOTH! They would both make fabulous professors. Bertie would teach Business & Econ, and Ms. Guppy would teach Philosophy.


02) Do you think 2 [Helena] is hot? How hot?

Helena is too melodramatic to be hot--unless you consider gloomy, dripping-in-sarcasm voices to be hot. Which, I guess, a lot of people do.


03) 12 [Nick Maconahey] sends 8 [Mr. Edwin] on a mission. What is it, and does he succeed?

Maconahey would attempt to get Mr. Edwin to recruit decent actors for his new movie, but since they're both self-centered sinister assholes, it likely wouldn't work out.

04) What is or would be 9 [Brunhilda VonHermann]'s favorite book?

"Coin Collecting: The Hobby of Kings"

That's a real book, btw.
XD


05) Would it make more sense for 2 [Helena] to swear fealty to 6 [Bertie], or the other way around?

This would not happen either way. They're both too self-centered and self-righteous to ever wear fealty to anyone. Except maybe Bertie would fake it for Mr. Edwin. Gotta work your way up the corporate ladder XD

06) For some reason, 5 [GasTON DuPont] is looking for a roommate. Should s/he share a studio apartment with 9 [Brunhilda] or with 10 [Mercy]?

Brunhilda. The flamboyance and foreign accents would be through the roof.


07) 2 [Helena], 7 [Morris] and 12 [Maconahey] have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?

They'd go to a dark little cramped poetry/open mic bar so Helena could play her music after they eat, while Morris could drink his eyeballs out, and Maconahey could keep his eyes open for "young, fresh, talented faces."


08) 3 [Archie] challenges 10 [Mercy] to a duel. What happens?

This would never happen. Archie's too smitten to ever challenge his crush to a duel, even though Mercy would be thrilled to get another excuse to kill a master XD


09) If 1 [Watts] stole 8 [Edwin]'s most precious possession, how would she/he get it back?

I'd honestly imagine this the other way around. Edwin would be the one stealing, obviously, and Watts would use his encyclopedic (LITERALLY) knowledge to outsmart Edwin into giving it back.


10) Suggest a title for a story in which 7 [Morris] and 12 [Maconahey] both attain what they most desire.

"HIRED! The Claim to Fame"


11) What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 [Creepy Paperboy] and 1 [Watts] to work together?

A deal that if Watts employs CPB as a spy and research assistant, CPB gets to live in the boarding house.

...

With YOU, sir.


12) If 7 [Morris] visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?

Oh, Morris. I'd get frustrated with his stupidity and his inability to correctly pronounce big words.


13) If you could command 3 [Archie] to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?

ARCHIE, WRITE A POEM FOR ME!


14) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11 [Ms. Guppy]?

No, but FBT did do a glorious CPB fanart picture. It was phenomenal.


15) If 2 [Helena] had to choose sides between 4 [Creepy Paperboy] and 5 [GasTON], which would it be?

Hmmm...Helena would probably side with CPB. Perhaps he'll be her new muse.

16) What might 10 [Mercy] shout while charging into battle?

Nothing. She'd creep slowly and silently behind her victim and--

*DEATH*


17) If you chose a song to represent 8 [Mr. Edwin], which song would you choose?

I'm not sure why, but the only thing that comes to mind here at 2:30 AM is...

"You're a meeeaann onnneee, Mr. GRINCH!"


18) 1 [Watts], 6 [Bertie], and 12 [Maconahey] are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?

Bertie would automatically get overruled. Watts would ramble on about the indigestion-inducing qualities of the acid in scallions in order to fool Maconahey into not wanting the pancake, but Maconahey would eventually become distracted by an agent or producer's phone call, leaving the pancake to Watts, but Watts would not eat it. He would take it home and examine it under a microscope for weeks until it grew moldy. Then he would test the mold, etc etc....


19) What might be a good pick-up line for 2 [Helena] to use on 10 [Mercy]?

Well considering they both hate each other and are scared of each other...this probably couldn't happen.


20) What would 5 [GasTON] most likely be arrested for?

Indecent exposure.


21) What is 6 [Bertie]'s secret?

He wanted to go into business as a kid, but he kind of failed at every job he ever got.


22) If 11 [Ms. Guppy] and 9 [Brunhilda] were racing to a destination, who would get there first?

Hahhaha the answer here is obvious. Brunhilda, being the strong hammer-throwing German goddess she is, would get there first. Ms. Guppy would follow...in a week or so.


23) If you had to walk home through a bad neighbourhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 [Morris] or 8 [Edwin]?

Edwin. He looks rich and sinister.


24) 1 [Watts] and 9 [Brunhilda] reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4 [Creepy Paperboy]'s sinister secret organization. 11 [Ms. Guppy] volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that he/she is actually a spy for 4 [Creepy Paperboy]. Meanwhile, 4 [Creepy Paperboy] has kidnapped 12 [Maconahey] in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5 [GasTON], they seek out 3 [Archie], who gives them what they need to complete their quest.

-What title would you give this fic?

"The Neverending Interdemensional Awkwardness of W&B and the Ball of Shame"

-Name three people on your friends list who might read it.

Hahaha I have no idea. Probably FBT. Maybe ICP.

-Name one person who should write it.

JK ROWLING! She'd make it this huge epic multi-part series full of symbolism and life-changing metaphors.